He Will Always Love His Kids

To the church of Blue Sky in Loveland, to those who belong to Jesus Christ and live for His return:

I am one pillar -
Joyful and strong in Christ's love
The church stands on us

Most of us can think of a time where we showed up somewhere and didn't fit in. I remember as an adolescent going to a tryout for a highly competitive soccer team. I was wearing shorts with Chicago Bulls insignia, a Michael Jordan T-shirt and had an attitude that could fly from the free throw line to the backboard of the gymnasium. All the current players on the team wore the same blue jerseys. I felt a little out of place.

It was wintertime in Alaska, so we were playing soccer indoors. I entered the gym looking like I was more ready for a street game of one-on-one basketball than a soccer tryout. I stood among a group of seasoned players wearing blue jerseys on their backs and confidence on their face. The coach kicked a green and mustard colored, fussy soccer ball my direction. Instead of gracefully "trapping" the ball, with a smooth, backward motion of my foot, I planted my foot in place to receive the pass. The ball bounced off my foot, went out of control, and one of the seasoned players recovered the ball. He passed it back to his coach with laser-like precision.

The coach came over and said he didn't think I was cut out for this league. He said I was used to playing in the Boys & Girls Club leagues and this was a whole different level. I was crushed. I may have gone home and cried or just gotten really bitter. I know I thought that I was dealt a bad hand. If he only saw my talent as I did, he'd understand. I thought he was an elitist and that it wasn't a fair tryout. Regardless what I thought, I didn't "belong."

The word "belong" came to me recently in meditation. The farther I venture down the Lenten Pilgrimage road and the further I grow toward the light of Christ, the more I consider how I belong. I knew after the word "belong" was presented to me in meditation that God wanted me to say something about it. I began my daily routine of getting on my knees and looking at selective readings.

"Seeking God for the City 2008," the issues of "Tabletalk" my mom sends, and my "Reflections for Ragamuffins" by Brennan Manning have been great compliments to Scripture as I go along this year toward the Resurrection Celebration. I then prayed aloud the Lord's Prayer, followed by petitioning prayers on my heart for God to hear. After I finished praying I began to just sit silently with what it meant to me to belong. What does it mean for me to belong to Christ? How can I draw nearer to Him? It's not about what He wants me to do. It's about who He wants me to be! It's not "What Would Jesus Do?" It's "What Did Jesus Do?" Who I am is who I am as a result!

I tried to think of a time where I didn't belong and the anecdote about the soccer tryout came to mind. I slightly laughed. What was I doing trying to be Michael Jordan at a soccer tryout? I laughed to myself again. I was a funny kid – a funny kid who God loves. He loves me. Even when I want to be Michael Jordan, He loves me. Even when I "want to change the world" like John Lennon tried to do, He loves me. Even when I want to be a songwriter like David, He loves me. Even when I want to write as profoundly as Isaiah, He loves me. Even when I want to be Adam, He loves me. He loves me - Adam. He made me. Adam didn't make Him. He wants me to be me, Adam to be Adam, not anybody else.

I'm sure glad that when I show up for the Wedding of the Lamb that God isn't going to come over and say "Adam, I don't think you're cut out for this league." I'm so grateful that He will, like so many times before, open His compassionate arms, kiss me and say, "Welcome home Adam!" He'll put a multi-colored dream coat on me, dunk my head and lift it back up so gently. He'll then set me on His knee and push my hair out of my face so I can see Him. He'll offer me bread and crushed grapes and say, "Remember, you're mine Adam!" There's nothing I can do to deserve that kind of love.

However, when I do try to earn that kind of love I get bitter, jealous, and disappointed. It's easy for me to get bitter, jealous, and disappointed when I forget how He treated me upon my return. When all I see is Him treating my returning brothers in the same loving and compassionate way, I want Him to still treat me that way. He does, but I can fail to see it. In this mindset I want Him to love me the way I think He should love me. He does love me, the way He loves me, but not the way I think He should love me. I think He should see me for all I've done and reward me. I get an attitude similar to a middle school kid who doesn't make the soccer team. Instead, He just says, "You're already mine, but one of our lost brothers has returned to us. Let's all celebrate together!" If I am trapped in bitterness, jealousy, and hatred, then I don't want to celebrate. I want to wallow in self-pity, isolate in a dark cave and glorify my selfishness.

But by the grace and love of Jesus Christ I get sick and tired of doing that after awhile and want to return to the Wedding Feast. I want to join hands with my brothers and my God, the Lord Jesus Christ. He helps me to remember. I am a pillar - Joyful and strong in Christ's love. The church stands on us. Thanks and praise to God – Jesus Christ the Lord and King. He will always love His kids.

Electric. God of gods, Lord of lords, King of kings, the Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor. Sure fire, sure fire, true serenity, ease. Divinity of Jesus Christ. Wholeness, wholeness, wholeness, hurricanes of wholeness.

Faithfully,

Adam Mackie