To the church of Blue Sky in Loveland, to those abiding with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:
We're going to leave soon
And go home with Him
But first we must help
Rebuild His Kingdom
I entered the Blue Sky church sanctuary out of the windy Coloradoan night thinking about the recent tornado that blew over the South killing more than 50 people on Feb. 6. I was grateful for my own life, saddened by the tragedy and awe-struck by the power. Any time a natural disaster occurs I realize how fragile we really are as human beings. I only imagine what a worldwide flood must have looked like or how an apocalyptic, fire rainstorm would look.
Nevertheless, I found myself several moments later kneeling before a mirror and a can of ashes. In all honesty, it was hard for me to look into the mirror. On one hand, I see a beautiful child of the living God. On the other, I see a broken man with dispelled dreams. The tricks of a spiritually unfit mind can send even the most faithful shooting into a surrealistic downward spiral where all features and truths become distorted. I prayed simply, God please show me the truth. There were written prompts asking me to consider the words "humility" and "mortality." I can still remember when I scoffed at these words – when I was dead to the Spirit. There was a portion of scripture I was directed to cue into, out of Genesis Chapter 3, where Abba speaks directly to the fallen man.
To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'
"Cursed is the ground
because of you;
through painful toil you
will eat of it
all the days of your life
It will produce thorns and
thistles for you,
and you will eat plants
of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the
ground,
Since from it you were
taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will
return."
I couldn't help but wonder what a ragamuffin like myself was doing in a sanctuary on Ash Wednesday in downtown Loveland. I've really never done the Ash Wednesday thing before. What was so new about this year?
I was told about "renewal." It made me think of license renewals. Though I don't need to have a pilot's license renewed, I do need a reminder of who is flying this human vessel I see propelling itself around the Front Range. God is not my co-pilot. I am His. He's the Pilot – the Pilot of Pilots - so to speak. Flying for God gets me to where God wants me to be. When I try and make God fly for me, I tend to think I am being who I think I should be. Though in spending so much thought on myself as the pilot, I may miss the opportunity to be of service and fly for God. I am grateful God is a God of second chances and full of grace and gives me lots of chances to fly His plane. He sees me when I'm flying home, from a long ways off. He gets filled with compassion and runs to me, throws His arms around me, and showers me with His kisses. I hear Him ask, "Are you ready to fly the plane for me now, Adam? We've got a Wedding Feast for the Lamb we've got to get to!"
There's no doubt mortality was on my mind as I entered the Blue Sky door that evening from the city street. I didn't think I was thinking about it then, but I was. I do find myself pausing now to consider humility and I am thinking about humility as accepting a free gift gratefully. I still find it difficult at times, when someone gives me something without any thought of reward, to be truly grateful. I feel like I have to return the favor. I feel like I must go on and beyond the call of duty, even to the point of falling prey to spiritual pride. I can be the Prodigal son's older brother, just as much as I can be the Prodigal son. I fail to realize that the one action I can do to truly express my gratitude and appreciation for the gift is, in a like manner, giving freely to others as the Father gives.
The gift is God's Son Jesus Christ and His love for us. His procession to the cross, His death by our hands, His burial in the tomb, and His rise to the throne of God Almighty paint the picture for a redeemed life. Our sinful flesh died with Him on the cross and is buried by His sacrifice. We rise again anew! When Jesus went into the wilderness to prepare Himself for the trials and tribulations of facing temptation, just as we find ourselves in the wilderness facing temptation, He was preparing a gift greater than a key to a brand new shiny bomb shelter to get out of the firestorm. Jesus was preparing a way for the Holy Spirit to abide within the human likeness, through knowing Him as the only Son of God. His flesh and His blood mark the New Covenant! We are covered no matter what! Praise God!
I asked Pastor Joe for prayer about some personal issues in my life. He explained it is because Christ dwells within me that I can understand truths of the spirit and I become frustrated when those of the flesh do not. The Holy Spirit enables me to understand and see truth clearly. That is why I must have scoffed at "humility" and "mortality" when I was on a crash course to be the best at showing the world my invincibility. Today a new lamp has been lit, not one to keep in the closet, but one to shine a light into the world. I am to be salt for bland meat. I am eager to humbly serve where I am most effective in Christ's kingdom and I continue to pray for the willingness to go to any lengths, even death, for His namesake.
I pray for Blue Sky as a church to grow and bring other vagabond ragamuffins, like myself looking for cover, to Christ. I ask for forgiveness for all my selfishness and self-centeredness, masked by fear, and for God to remove it all so the Holy Spirit can burn more like a blow torch than a candle inside of me. I express my gratitude to the City of Loveland for making a welcoming home for four months and for all the warm-hearted, kind people residing there. I pray for an ongoing melting of any and all the hearts iced-over by the icicles of this world. And I pray that this Ash Wednesday will allow me to breakthrough to a new level of faith, receive God's revelation through the Word, and empower me to more deeply experience the love and redemption of Jesus Christ. Abba move me next to You.
"Nothing at all can come between God and our spirit."
~Julian of Norwich~
Faithfully,
Adam Mackie
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