The first few days of this Lenten Pilgrimage have been eye-opening as well as heart-opening. Praying for others that I would not – honestly – think of praying about is a very good and powerful practice.
Something that really hit me personally is that I am truly and passionately wanted by God – we all are wanted by God. Not needed – but wanted. He really, truly and deeply wants a relationship with me. He desires so much to have a loving relationship with His children – to love and be loved – and for us to let Him in completely into our hearts and lives. I have heard and learned this (in my head) before of course, but this week I felt it too (in my heart). It is really awesome and truly amazing to really think about – and to feel.
But, what seems sometimes obvious looking back but difficult to discern in real-life-time, is that we are often deceived. We are tricked into thinking that we are not wanted or not good enough to be in His presence – or that we have to earn our way – which of course we cannot do. For me, I know guilt, fear and shame have kept me from wholeheartedly coming to God – from being totally open to Him – to completely allowing Him to love me. But, praying through one of the readings, it felt clear that God wants me to hold my head up, to come to Him, to let Him love and heal me. Let go of the shame, and let Him love me, and love Him back with all of me. What an amazing God!
It is time to get up, trust Jesus, and follow Him. He is with me – and you. No fear. Just Trust. Only God.
I know that I want to seek God – to seek His face. Not half way, and not bound by fear. I want to be wholehearted with God. I know that I have a long way to go, and the walk is not always easy – but it feels good knowing that I need not be afraid. It is good feeling that God wants and loves me.
No fear. Just Trust. Praise God!
Brad
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